by Judy Jean Kwon
Fulfilling my craving of the old Korea made me gain 10 pounds.
Visiting Korea is bittersweet. The "what-ifs," the pain in my heart, and the nostalgia of my treasured childhood all mix together into a bowl of rice—this is Korea for me.
Eating Pollack Soup with blue collared workers before going to work
In Korea, I see my grandma and my dad everywhere. Before she passed away, my grandma asked me to "Take me back home to Korea," but I wasn’t able to. She was an undocumented immigrant in America, and we had no one left in Korea. The guilt I still feel for not having tried to find a way for my grandma to have her last wish still haunts me. Over a decade later, here I am, back in Korea without her.
I’m in an Uber, and the driver looks just like my dad would if he were still alive. A stout, short, strong Korean man in his 60s with a boisterous personality—just like many old-school Korean "ahjussi." He told me I was a "옛날 사람," a person of the old times, when I mentioned that I didn’t like modern, flashy Seoul but preferred the old country of my childhood, before Korea was developed into the K-pop-driven international sensation it is today.
Food Culture in Korea
I went on a weight-gaining binge, revisiting all the childhood Korean flavors and rediscovering Korea anew—gaining at least 10 pounds in the process. There’s so much food to eat and so many drinking establishments in Korea. Unlike American bar culture, where people drink without eating, Koreans always have full meals with their alcohol. Eating on an empty stomach is a "no-no," as any "ahjumma" will tell you—it’ll make holes in your insides.
Every nook and cranny, tucked away in hidden places, revealed gems of drinking establishments. Fried chicken and beer shops dotted every block, and no two places looked alike, except for a few corporate chains. Mom-and-pop shops are allowed to flourish in Korea.
I filled myself up with the foods from my childhood and ate dishes I’d only seen on K-dramas.
Korea is a loud country, with people of all ages walking the streets late into the night. There are karaoke bars, restaurants, cafes, crowded parks, 24-hour study cafes, arcades, and photo studios. There are so many affordable "third spaces" that home becomes just a place to sleep. Convenience is key here: you can order food on an app, and it will be delivered to you wherever you are in 30 minutes or less. The delivery drivers zip through traffic on motorbikes, weaving dangerously in and out of lanes.
Eating Korean Streetfood and Visiting Korean Traditional Market
It was a chilly afternoon on my first day in Korea, and as the sun began to set, I saw a crowd gathered on the street next to steaming fish cakes and tteokbokki (spicy rice cakes). The scene reminded me of my childhood, when I would stop at street food vendors on my way home from school and eat tteokbokki with my friends. Decades later, eating tteokbokki and fish cakes in hot broth on the street flooded me with sadness and a deep urge to eat as much as I could, before it was no longer possible.
Restaurants are tucked away in tight alleyways, plazas, and hidden corners. I frequented places that reminded me of my childhood, avoiding the glossy, modern spots. I continued my quest to discover restaurants that served soup with rice. Koreans often eat soup with their meals, and there are endless varieties: souplike dishes with spices, bone broths, Korean barbecue, blood sausages, pork feet, fish dishes, and of course, street food.
One of the highlights of my trip was discovering pojangmacha (street food tent) reminiscent of those I’d seen in K-dramas, where the heroine, after a heartbreak, would come to drink and eat. These places were filled with boisterous groups enjoying a night out. Cafes were packed with people, both young and old, close to midnight—perhaps sobering up after drinking, or simply keeping the night going. Old folks strolled leisurely with their little dogs at night.
a traditional market in Korea
I also stumbled upon a traditional market (sijang), which brought me back to my childhood. I used to visit these markets with my grandma, where she taught me the art of haggling. I can’t stop thinking about the Korea of the past. For immigrants, time stands still while our homeland moves on. Korea has transformed into a first-world country but the flavors of the Korean dishes remain the same and I search for the Korea I left behind—the Korea where my grandma roamed freely and independently, and I imagine her as a young girl.
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